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Thursday, March 18, 2010
I miss being the old Ain. Not restricted in her actions. To laugh like i dun owe this world. Oblivious to the surroundings and people around me. Do not have to squeeze the brain juice just to come out with the right choice of words. Joke around without having to fear that somebody might be hurt or worst still doesnt even catch my jokes. Talking for hours and hours with friends especially guys without having to fall for them. Neutral feelings you see. Don't have to worry if you are wearing jeans and flip flops. (like ya allah, JEANS. I miss wearing them =( ) Im starting to feel the pressure in my new surrounding. Wherever you go, whomever you talked to, i felt as though a lot of eyes are trailing behind me. Transforming to a person which I don't really want to be. But I have to. You know like being more well-mannered, be careful in my everyday conversations and just have to be that ONE DAMN GOOD/PIOUS person. I didnt meant that i was ill mannered previously, but the change was too much for me to adapt to. Being over friendly and not friendly is another problem which I am encountering now. People just misinterpret my sincere intentions. On the other hand, im looking at it on a positive perspective where this change can actually nurture me to be a better person. Haha. I noe. My days are over. My job demands me to be an exemplary figure where my kids can look upon,count on me should they need advises and a place where the could actually seek love and attention to. That's where the 'new Ain' sets in. More motherly huh? haha. Even I will chuckle to myself if I accidentally became super gentle and soft spoken on some of the days. Like come on. its not me. I felt as though I'm a hypocrite. Am i? Oh wells, its not only me who doesnt have the confidence about the 'new Ain'. Even my super close friends can't vision the girl who used to be loud and rough changes to a dainty and 'sopan' girl. Cincai la can?. Pakaliao ok. Sopan and rough at the same time ok? Alrite. I'll do just that. At least i dun feel extremely guilty for acting out a character which is not me. I am who i am=)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
I miss being the old Ain. Not restricted in her actions. To laugh like i dun owe this world. Oblivious to the surroundings and people around me. Do not have to squeeze the brain juice just to come out with the right choice of words. Joke around without having to fear that somebody might be hurt or worst still doesnt even catch my jokes. Talking for hours and hours with friends especially guys without having to fall for them. Neutral feelings you see. Don't have to worry if you are wearing jeans and flip flops. (like ya allah, JEANS. I miss wearing them =( ) Im starting to feel the pressure in my new surrounding. Wherever you go, whomever you talked to, i felt as though a lot of eyes are trailing behind me. Transforming to a person which I don't really want to be. But I have to. You know like being more well-mannered, be careful in my everyday conversations and just have to be that ONE DAMN GOOD/PIOUS person. I didnt meant that i was ill mannered previously, but the change was too much for me to adapt to. Being over friendly and not friendly is another problem which I am encountering now. People just misinterpret my sincere intentions. On the other hand, im looking at it on a positive perspective where this change can actually nurture me to be a better person. Haha. I noe. My days are over. My job demands me to be an exemplary figure where my kids can look upon,count on me should they need advises and a place where the could actually seek love and attention to. That's where the 'new Ain' sets in. More motherly huh? haha. Even I will chuckle to myself if I accidentally became super gentle and soft spoken on some of the days. Like come on. its not me. I felt as though I'm a hypocrite. Am i? Oh wells, its not only me who doesnt have the confidence about the 'new Ain'. Even my super close friends can't vision the girl who used to be loud and rough changes to a dainty and 'sopan' girl. Cincai la can?. Pakaliao ok. Sopan and rough at the same time ok? Alrite. I'll do just that. At least i dun feel extremely guilty for acting out a character which is not me. I am who i am=)
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